Hey everyone, just thought I'd give a brief update on my employment status.
Working at Starbucks has taught me a lot of things. It's shown me how much I want a real job, for instance. Not that it's not fun working there- I like coffee, and I like making drinks and interacting with friendly people. I don't like being treated like I'm stupid because I'm behind a counter, which is unfortunately a big part of the job. Some people take a look at me and don't see a college graduate who was at the top of her class. They see a girl who they can belittle, and experience Schadenfreude at watching her become uncomfortable with their ridiculous complaints.
Many customers are just fine. They smile, look you in the eye, and say thank you. But I'm distressed at how one tyrannical personality can disturb my otherwise good day. I had a woman lie to my supervisor, saying I was giving her son attitude when he changed his drink order at the window. Never mind that she wasn't present when the 'exchange' took place, and that I have several witnesses to the contrary. I was confronted later and given advice on how to communicate with people. In short, I was treated like a kid who pushed someone down in the school yard.
I'm doing the best I can. I'm writing, I'm reading a lot, and I'm looking for bigger and better things. Am I embarrassed that I essentially wasted the past four years of my life? Fuck yes I am. But I'm not embarrassed that I'm creating my own future in a shitty economy. My parents don't pay for my place, my food, or my bills. I'm not ashamed to be poor and independent. I want better for myself, of course, but until an opportunity comes along, this is how it's going to be. I'll continue to write in obscurity, and I'll be happy knowing things won't always be so rough.
I'm smart. I'm really fucking smart, ok? I know this isn't my destiny, but I'm working with what I have. Everything has always, in one way or another, worked out for me. This time, I'm going to have to consciously force things to go in my favor again. I'm confident that it will get better. Jon is going back to NMSU in the Fall, and I'll be working on becoming the writer I want to be.
Sorry for the long lapse there. I'll continue to update everyone on my status.
